Saturday, May 7, 2016

Keep mom in the picture #mothersday

I know it is disingenuous to speak of my friend's battle with cancer and how it affected ME and MY LIFE, so I have avoided it up to this point. Here is a woman who wrote her own obituary, so she certainly does not need my take on her life. In her own words, she claimed victory over cancer, because, being an English professor, she used the true meaning of the word "victory" and claimed she was strong in the face of adversity, rather than focusing on whether or not she 'vanquished' her enemy, Mr. Cancer.

In fact, she did not.
My daughter asked for a photo so she could 'paint my friend.' Kylie would have loved it!
So I have not wanted to 'tell my tale', because it was not MY tale to tell, and I was mostly only an observer over the last eighteen months of her life/struggle with the c-word. In fact, since we had our babies, we had seen each other less and less than of course those awesome college days where I seem to recall us drinking together every night. Memories are fickle, however, and I'm not sure how objective I can be about our relationship. In death, everything is memorialized to the nth degree and I sure do think we were close. But as we drove to the funeral, my college friends and I reminisced, and, we weren't sure. We tried to gauge if we were the 'imposters' heading to the funeral where there would be 'real' friends of hers who had known her in recent years; or if we were really, truly, friends of hers who knew a certain side that, perhaps, no one else did.

It doesn't matter.

What matters now, and why I chose to blog about this, is because, on this Mother's Day, I am thinking especially of her and her children. As my mom tells me, a "motherless child" is a psychological profile. Losing your mother, the person who created your world, changes your world. And I'm thinking especially of those two she left behind.

Thanks to Kylie's blog and her online world, she will live on for many years. One of her legacies, especially for me, will be the fact that she insisted on "mom" getting in the picture. This is actually the reason she started a blog, because, having lost her mother at 24, she was saddened by the fact that she did not have many photos with her mother. So, fat jeans and bad hair days be damned, she got in the picture for many many months.

And, today, I want to encourage you all to do the same.

I know you didn't shower last night.

I know you need to get your hair done.

I know there are 10 - 20 - 30 pounds hanging around that you want to hide.

I know no one is asking you to get in the picture (my husband is historically terrible at this, but, after years of my insisting, is getting more proactive!)


You guys, let's just be us. Honor yourself today, on this, and every other day. 






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