Saturday, August 2, 2014

10 tips for new mommies #newmommyweek

To all my pregnant friends: 
10 Tips for New Mommies
(that's me the night before the big event. sorry if it's painful for you to see; it was painful for me to experience, so THERE.)
I think of you often, and send you love.

I'm no expert, but I've always got an opinion. I think I've learned a few things (especially from my fellow mommies). Feel free to add!

Quick & Dirty Guide to being pregnant/having a newborn
  • You are the Director of the show, the Captain of the ship right now
  • Say no whenever you want, and even when you don't want to
  • Follow your instincts first
  • Call/ask another mommy
Slow & Painful Guide

1. There is a fourth 'trimester', i.e., the first three months the baby is born, during which you cannot spoil the child. You can only teach it to trust the world by knowing that his/her needs will be met.
 After the first three months, don't go in on the first cry.

2. Lower your expectations surrounding social/non-baby-related activities. It'll be at least half of what you expect. And you'll be grateful for the time out, and for the excuse to stay in.

3.  Don't give up on the nap. You're the mommy, you know when your baby is tired even when he/she doesn't.

4.  Make sure Daddy helps in the beginning, even if Grandmas are around, so that he gets used to helping.

5. Breastfeeding can be hard, not like in the movies. But totally worth it if you want to do it. Tell important people your goals so that they can help you reach them, or let them go if you need to. See my post on breastfeeding here.

6. Don't listen to what someone in the grocery store or mall has to tell you within the five seconds it took them to sum you up and give you such well-thought-out advice.

7. MAKE MOMMY FRIENDS IN YOUR SAME SITUATION. If you are at home, you need at home mommies; if you are working part time or full time, you need part-time or full-time mommies; if your husband is in the military, you need military mommies, and so on...See my post about that here.

8. Don't expect Daddy to have the same nose-twitching sense that you do. Just tell him the baby needs to be fed, the diaper needs to be changed, etc; he's probably not going to figure it out on his own and he's not going to be offended by being directed.

9. When the plane is losing pressure, you put your air mask on first, and then help the child. Same with life--if you are not getting what you need, your child will ultimately suffer. What's good for mommy is what's good for baby.

10. Have fun. Laugh and look your child right in the eye as often as possible. Brain growth is stimulated by simply looking at your child. Don't. ever. stop!

To all the twin mommies, add to that...

11.  PUT YOUR FEET UP RIGHT NOW!! No seriously, for me the pregnancy was a little difficult. I was put on bedrest at 26 weeks, so I always tell twin mommies to prepare by starting out right. You want to keep those babies cooking as long as possible.

12. My next step would be to forget all the "STUFF" you can buy--get the book: "12 hours sleep by 12 weeks old." I think it has a different name now, it's on babycoach.net. It was designed for multiples and is a short book to read, and could really help you get them on the same sleep schedule so you can actually have a brain for other decisions you'll need to make. 

13. Stop believing the hype that you need two of everything--I know some women who co-cribbed their twins for 15 months. You'll figure it all out as you go. You will need two car seats, and for that reason I did like the double snap n go stroller, but there are new strollers on the market that fit two car seats and still turn into a regular stroller after that. If I had to do it all again I would invest in the "city mini" stroller. It is a dream! We rented it at Disney and always admit we should have gotten it. Too late now, as the kids are 5 1/2. Although maybe we'd still be using a stroller at 4 years old if we had gotten that one. 

14. If you didn't already have a baby, you might not know about "receiving blankets". You could not go wrong with having 20 around the house--they are great as burp cloths, blankets, swaddlers, bath towels for newborns, and just comfy places to land on furniture and floors. With twins you will always want one at the ready. Ask the nurses in the hospital to teach you how to turn them into swaddlers.

15. Think about - no, just do - join your local "moms of multiples/moms of twins" club--it should be a local chapter of the national organization of twin moms. They may have exchange sales, an online forum, monthly meetings and/or nights out, and sometimes they even help prepare meals for moms after the new babies are born. Check out National Organization of Mothers of Twins Club Search.

Congrats and please ask me anything!! I'm not shy!! It is a VERY special thing to have twins. If you survive the first three six months, you will reap the rewards of having a constant playdate in your house!!

And to my fellow parents - what do you have to add to some unwitting pregnant lady who stumbled upon this page in the desperate search for a perfect new mommy experience?

More posts to come this #newmommyweek ! 

1 comment:

  1. I'd say to lower your expectations in the first few months. Being a new mom is REALLY hard. And that's okay. There are days where you will feel like nothing goes right, and in your lowest, most exhausted moments, you may regret having kids. It's okay to have those thoughts occasionally. It doesn't make you a bad mom. It just means you are trying to make a huge adjustment in life. It WILL get easier and more fun. As long as you are loving your baby, and doing your best in the moment, that's all that matters.

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