Wednesday, April 30, 2014

It's all wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong!!

My sewing space reno is coming along...



But I'm still not feeling the creative spirit.

I know I'm going about this all wrong.

I know my time is worth more than the $2 I make on a pair of panties. 

But I can't seem to wrap my head around something bigger. 

I've always just thought, small. Or rather, I've always thought I could just do things myself. 

But when I see mommy businesses blowing up, sometimes from women who have only just learned how to sew in the last two years, or mommy blogs in the same vein, I start to wonder: 

What am I doing wrong?

I guess I'm usually working in isolation. I'm lazy with my blogging-networking, joining challenges online, etc. Thinking about what I can do, what I can write, what I can offer. I don't have many original ideas. I draw inspiration from others' desires and just want to please them. Immediately

This includes my children, of course. 

But I do want more for my time. My efforts. I always have. I was always hoping to make it as a musician/actress, and I didn't mind paying my dues. 

And while I have enjoyed many successes, never have I had the big "payday" that legitimized me for the long run. 

Or perhaps it is my own thinking that has always limited me. 

That's where I'm at these days. 

Looking for my thing. My payday. Or maybe just, my legitimacy. 

Hm.

Maybe it's the rain.

Sad flowers.

7 comments:

  1. I'm in the process of launching a longarming business out of my home so I can relate to your post. I follow a girl on FB and her website. http://directlysuccessful.com/ Although I have yet to take any classes from her I've found a lot of her posts and topics are very relevant what I do. Maybe you can find something that speaks to you.

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  2. Trust me - it's the rain. Make no decisions until the sun appears.

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  3. I go through this from time to time. I find that if I just wait it out (sometimes take a little break), everything comes back together and I feel good about things again. I'm sure you'll find your way. :)

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  4. you will never get to be more than what you envision. if you don't think big ... you'll never "be" big. if big is what you want .... then dream about it, and take whatever next small step seems possible/plausible. The results and the clarity will come and find you. Sounds crazy but I have no doubts.

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  5. Sometimes it's just the stressing over trying to make something happens that actually prevents it from happening. Kinda like when you're trying to remember something and you're straining to remember and you can't and when you stop thinking about it, it usually comes to you. So too maybe the creative process, as well as the meaning of things.

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