Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Audition Report #1

I read a lot of running and triathlon blogs and we are all used to scanning each other's 'race reports' to learn something about the person, the race, and, of course, hoping to be inspired, or looking to commiserate. 

I'm sure some other performer-blogger does this [please let me know if you do], but I'd like to start my list of audition reports. 
  • Perhaps it will end up being a database of sorts, from which I can draw intelligence on future auditions for the same company - or show. 
  • Perhaps it will be a place to learn from my weaknesses and build on my strengths. 
  • Or perhaps it will just be a place to VENT my frustration that there is no rationality for getting cast and not cast in this business of show. 
Plus I KNOW y'all want the skinny on what went down today!

You found yourself chatting with hubby tonight at dinner:
"That Twynmawrmom...she is so obsessed with this weird, obscure, show and she had an audition today and...oh...I wonder how that went?!?"
And you excuse yourself from the table and head straight to the interwebs where we meet and hang out and discuss all things trivial and meaningful at once.


Hey.
How was your day? 
Ok, me first.

Audition for The Last Five Years for 11th Hour Theatre Company
April 30, 2013
Philadelphia, PA
Piece: "Climbing uphill/Audition sequence" from The Last Five Years

I saw the notice for this audition two weeks ago and immediately called for an appointment. I didn't hear from them for almost a week so I called again. I was that excited about the prospect of playing this part. 
[KATHY HIATT Soprano Mix/Belt. 20-35 years old. Excellent actress and singer. We see her perspective on the relationship from the end to the very beginning. At the beginning of the relationship, she is an ambitious, aspiring actress, but her dreams of love are more important than her career. At her best, Kathy is endearing, witty, charismatic and realistic. At her worst, she is insecure, needy, and jealous.] 
Check out my post here on the identity crisis reliving this show triggered...

The music director for my previous show in Philly is also the music director for this show, so she texted me to say she would be leaving the auditions early so I called yet again to change my appointment time. [Already looking idiotic.] Little did I know I actually knew the woman who was changing my appointment for me on the phone all those times. She knows I'm cool. Or that I was ... before I geeked out about this show!!

The good news, all was forgotten when I entered the room all bubbly and feeling young with my little ponytail flying and started talking to the pianist about the tempo of my audition piece. We were asked to sing from the show, which is helpful right off the bat. My choice, I had designed to be both tongue-in-cheek since it was about an audition, and face-melting because it showed off vocal range and some acting. The casting director immediately said:
"Oh I've been WAITING for someone to sing that piece."
I must be dreaming. "That's exactly what I was hoping!" 
"No one has sung it all day!" she added.
BULLSEYE, YOU YOUNG BITCHES.
"Well, I will try to do it justice."
[be cool, twynmawrmom, be cool...]
As the pianist got some additional coaching from the music director on the tempo, he played the intro and I just stepped into the center of the room and started singing. They kinda laughed, like, you didn't need to do that. But I was feeling it. 

First high note. Bang.

Second high note. Bang Bang.

Now onto the patter part...was that a chuckle I heard? My breath is with me...My direction is not...just keep up the tempo...is the pianist behind me? They'll respect you if you keep consistent...

Oh. They noticed the last little bit I threw in. Nice. 

Music director gives me a hug upon finishing. Does that mean she's proud, or sorry? 

Big smiles all around from music director, casting director, director of the company, and director of the show. I hope they know, I'm cool. I'm easy. I'm quick. I can. do. this. show.

Call me. 

Granted, the male lead is already cast, and if I'm not a match age-wise/height-wise/size-wise, etc, the whole audition is moot. Lovely how that works, right? 

Callbacks are on Friday. I keep checking my phone and email. Posted "Killed it" on my fb page. Then immediately had to delete, not wanting to jinx.

Now. 
How was your day, dear?


Oh, b-t-w, thankful I had this magical place 
and lovely friend's yard in which to abandon leave my children
during said audition...

Monday, April 29, 2013

Fitness Guilt

Ugh. I haven't run in almost a WEEK. It's awful. I just didn't feel like it. 

I understand you cannot be a professional athlete and "listen to your body" all the time but I'm not a professional athlete. 

I'm not really an athlete at all

Maybe I'm not listening to my body...but my soul... 

And if it doesn't feel like it, there's a reason. 

I certainly have days when as long as I just slip on my running shoes,  they do all the work for me - they make the decision to head outside, to go one more mile, to run up the hill I usually walk.

But then there are other days when I cannot put one foot in front of the other. I have my music, my Garmin, my best sports bra and my visor...I pick one foot up and it falls down. It does not want to move. 

My whole body screams "I DON'T WANNA!"

I've struggled with moving the number on the scale, so I can't say I'm an expert, but I'm learning that the days I don't burn 1000 calories, I still may make progress on my weight loss. 

It helps me lean up if I take a day off.

There are long workouts where I find myself wanting to eat an entire beast-like animal afterwards. 

Then I take a day off, and keep control of my appetite. 

Training does not help me lose weight; dieting, or watching what I eat, always does. 

I'm also starting to suspect the days I stay away from wheat and gluten, I keep lean. Oats and rice, still ok. So I can't say it's a carb thing...But that's all beside the point at the moment.

There are days I could do a lot of damage by heading out for a run. My nipples, my knees, my heavy heart, my crazed thoughts, my hormones....all of this affects my body response. 

And I can't do it.

And then I will bonk, and I will feel like an awful human being.

But then, I get guilty. I regret all day not having worked out. I start strategizing when I could fit something in. And reminding myself that that special race I signed up for is looming closer and closer....And that's awful too! Why can't I take a day, or even a few days off?


Fitness guilt.
   
It's worse than a Jewish mother-in-law!

I've managed not to have one; gotta work on eradicating the other...


[the fitness guilt, obvie...]
[you sickos]


How do you do it? Or do you not miss a workout, EVER???

Friday, April 26, 2013

The height of cuteness

They say that age 4 1/2 is the height of cuteness. No kidding. That at age 7, childish cuteness starts to wane and little adults start to sprout. I don't remember where I read that, but you can totally cite me as a reference.

So these kids have me crippled at every turn.

Your fun-for-Friday (or barf-for-Friday, whichever you prefer):


Hats 



Cutest photo of two spidermans EVER.


 Oh no, wait. This one is.


They wanted to take this pic (with baby Lion) to prove to Daddy we were in correct formation for bedtime when he missed.


And lastly, have you ever seen a Butterfly that catches itself? 

Can't handle... the cuteness...heart...exploding....

Monday, April 22, 2013

Identity crisis / Spazz Alert

Audition season is over. 
Onto training season.
Trying to finish up winter sewing projects 
so I can close up shop for the summer, 
in a manner of speaking.


And then...an audition notice pops up...

A local theatre company will be putting on The Last Five Years, pretty much:
  • one of my fave musicals of all time
  • one of the first shows hubby and I saw as a couple
  • one of my audition go-to books for new material
There are only two characters in the musical: a man, and a woman. 
You can guess their relationship.
The man is cast.
But the woman is not!
The show is in June.

This is very late in the season for her not to be cast.

This is the kind of last-minute clean up job I am best at. 

AND this is a DREAM role for me.

SO I'M FREAKING OUT OF COURSE.

I didn't KNOW I was freaking out, until I started to get distracted on the phone with hubby...called twice to confirm an appointment time...started bringing the book around with me everywhere to mine it for the perfect two minutes of music for the audition...and singing my face off at every quiet moment of the day. [think of the children; those poor, poor children.]


As I was singing through every minute of the show, 
looking for that perfect two minutes that I:
  • could relate to as a person
  • could portray as an actress
  • could sing easily when nervous
  • could read young in a small audition room
  • could do all that and still show my vocal range
  • could do all that and show I know this show and will be extremely dedicated to it,
I realized, there is something else about this show that makes it meaningful to me.

The story is about an actress [duh] who is struggling with her identity as she starts a relationship with a man who becomes a famous author. His world takes over hers, and she does not want to be: 
"the girl, stuck at home in the burbs, with the baby, the dog, and a garden of herbs..."
So of course, I start to cry.

And want to immediately drop the children off at my husband's office and drive directly to NYC and stalk a couple of agents who would see me. 


But, I love my life. 


I would not trade my family for anything. 

But the show, and those words, are still me. A large part of me then, in 2002, when hubby and I got tickets to it in the early days of our relationship. It signaled a piece of art we could agree upon: contemporary music, a unique direction and storyline, something new, but still good old, musical theatre. And the words are still a small part of me now. 

That run-away-and-go-on-tour part of me does not seem to go away. 

Usually a day or two - even a girls' night out - will quiet it for a few months. 

But the beast must be fed. 

AND I MUST. GET THAT PART.

[audition is next Tuesday night.]

Sunday, April 21, 2013

First long/short bike of the season

aka "and then I got to Wayne...and everything went wrong"

I rode a marathon today (bike computer says 27 miles, Garmin says 25.)
Would have been, my long ride in previous seasons.
Would now be, my short ride if I could hack it.
Follow my thinking mental state along the way...

Miles 1-6: My house to Conshohocken
Ahhhh...the glorious hills of Gladwyne...
Quite a warm-up! Wish I had my heart monitor on... 
I will not stop. I am SPIN CHAMPION!
Get to descent. Get to descent. It's going to be rocking.
Holy Sh** I am going the speed limit. 
"What are you up to today on this lovely Sunday morning, twynmawrmom?"
"Oh, you know, just going the speed limit [35 mph]...ON MY BIKE!"
and I'm on the trail in 30 minutes!
As I round around the Outbound Station onto the trail I'm calculating 30 min/6 miles is 5 minute miles...not great, but not bad for those hills...
And then I remember: some people run 5 minute miles.
Ah well...first of the season...

Miles 7-15: Schuykill River Trail
A win for familiarity.
Hey- I'm not the only loner out today. That makes me feel better.
Wait - it is COLD [40 degrees.] 
Those other people are dumb like me.
In any case, this is easy. Keep the pace up to make up for those hills behind me.
And the hills ahead of me. 
Wish I had a tissue.
Maybe I'll stop for water in Norristown.
No dude. Don't stop til Valley Forge. 
Halfway point + bathrooms = perfect pit stop.
Get there. NOW.

Valley Forge pit stop
Some nice fellow cyclists greet me.
Chatter re: triathlon, running, and the Boston marathon.
Conclusion: biking is better than running.
Commiseration over the fact that the bathrooms are locked.
Screwed.
I bet there is a visitor center in Valley Forge.
Now if I could just cross the river...
Should have worn my tri suit? Where the heck is the crossing point? 

Crossing the River: Is this a bridge, or a scene from Indiana Jones?
Miles 16-20: Valley Forge into Wayne
Valley Forge trails are awesome! 
When they are not closed off for a race.
Another biker waves me through. Race is over.
Porta potty. THANK YOU Race organizers. 
Ok. So just descend into Berwyn... totally know this route.
F**k. Have to stop to look at map. AGAIN.
And....a third time.
And...an eighth time...
Well that's good, because I can't breathe.
Whyyyy didn't I drive this first. 
Effin West Valley Road SUCKS
I can't breathe.
The climb must end.
All climbs must end. 
Try not to walk it.
Don't walk it.
Don't walk it.
No one saw you fall as you were trying to dismount.
Don't check your sleeve to see if you ripped it.
You prob did.
Ok just walk across Gulph Road, then you're golden. Then you're in Wayne.

*LOST.*
Miles 21-26: Wayne to Twyn Mawr
WTF WAYNE. I totally know you. 
All my mommy friends are around here...somewhere...
Great. Fine. Downtown Wayne. Civilization. Just ride through...
Maybe call hubby.
Maybe we should meet in Wayne with kiddies for lunch.
Crap. Car show. Streets closed.
Maybe we should meet at Garrett Hill Pizza for lunch.
Maybe I should just walk home.
Maybe I can just ride home.
Maybe I can make it in under 2 hours. 
I will give myself 5 minutes for that traffic light.

And...DONE!
Me: "Either my tires are low, or I'm a terrible cyclist, or both."
Hubby: "Both."

Hubby/Coach:"But you know how you get better at cycling? 
You do more cycling."
Right.

See you on the trails, bitches!!






Thursday, April 18, 2013

My wish for the media: don't show his face

And I say his, because it is almost never a woman. And even rarer, a mother. Because if you have gone through that much heartbreaking effort to produce and/or raise a child, you would never want to destroy one.

Please don't show his face.

Please don't exploit his cause.

That is what he wants.

That is why he has done this awful thing.

Please don't give him attention.

Please just tell us, it is done.

Make us feel safe, not scared.

Make us understand that law enforcement is doing their job, and don't try to do it for them.

Explain why we can't know everything right away.

Please don't show his face.

Remember Columbine, and VA Tech, and Sandy Hook. And don't make a copy cat.

Don't give him what he wants.

He has already affected hundreds and thousands of lives.

Don't make it millions.

Don't inspire some other wacko to do the same.

Don't teach that other wacko how he got away with it.

And please, don't haunt my dreams with his face, with some nasty smirk that he succeeded. Or at another time in his life when this evil act was only a glimmer in his eye.

Don't sell us your story about him.

Just tell us what happened, what's being done about it, and what we should prepare for in the future.

Don't make him news. Make us news.

And please, don't. show. his. face.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Broad Street Run Slacker Training Plan

As I mentioned on fb, I think it's important we pause, pray, pursue peace, and live out our dreams anyway. I'm so saddened by the news from the Boston marathon. I believe we can't  let it stop us from doing something we love, including gathering in large races together and running our a$$es off. 

[Or, in my case, just running and and trying not to come in last.] 
 
As usual I wake up five weeks before race day and think, "hmmm...how shall I prepare for this thing?" I'm a winner, not a planner, duh. Also it is helpful that at least one of my children are conveniently sick one week out of each month so as to throw off any lofty training goals.

Actually I'm not trying to win, I'm not trying to beat a certain pace....I just want to finish. And I would like to not be last in my age group. Although I will certainly be last in my mommy group. I don't know why I hang out with those fast bitches.

I am by no means a runner, an expert, nor uber experienced, but I have just learned what works in my body/schedule/recovery time and here's what I've come up with for Broad Street so that I may finish the thing.

[And remember hubby/coach's motto:]
It doesn't have to be pretty.
Broad Street Run 10-miler in 5 weeks
Week of Short RunCross - TrainShort RunCross - Train Long Run
Apr 1missedgardening3 milesspin5 miles
Apr 84 milesgardening3 milesspin 8 miles
Apr 154 - 5 milesspin/swim3 mileslong bike (30 m)10-11 miles
Apr 223 - 4 milesswim .5-1k4-5 milesspin6-9 miles
Apr 293 - 4 milesswim .5-1k3 miles[not this week]RACE



I only post this to help others say "no, idiot, that's not right" or "ok I think I could do that" because that's what I do when I'm searching others' training plans. I actually haven't found much for other people's 10-miler plans; I just know my basic rules, as framed from bits and pieces I've learned.

Quick & Dirty Training Rules
  • 2 short runs and 1 long run per week
  • other strength-building/exercise helps keep me loose
  • a little taper towards the last week to rest/prep
  • never run the exact distance for mental purposes
  • sprint/intervals for one short run per week helps with speed 
I have it in the back of my mind that I could use race week to do my "Half-Ironman in a week" training plan [again, just my way of visualizing], but I don't know if that's actually going to happen.
But that goes to the point that the reason I under-train, under-prepare, and under-think it, is that I'm only keeping my eye on one race this season: Delaware DiamondMan, September 8th; my first Half-Iron distance race

Oh yeah....gotta email that coach....


 

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Mid term weight loss goal

For some reason this week, I hit a weight loss goal I haven't been able to hit in a few years! 

I got under 160. 

That's 10 pounds less than I was when I ran the Philadelphia half last Fall, which was the most I've ever weighed (outside of pregnancy.)

Again, feeling empowered, like after my #bestrun, I think, the sky's the limit! 

I would LOVE to get down to 150 again. 

It has been since my wedding, 8 1/2 years ago. 

I knew I needed to get lean for this tri season, and stepping up to the plate of the Half-Ironman was going to take some big changes - so this is a good great one - to start with!

Oh HOW??
  • Hubby has lost a lot of weight recently and it inspired me to go along with him. We basically stopped engorging ourselves at every possible opportunity - and if I find myself munching on the kids' dinner, I don't eat a second dinner with him. He has been working out sometimes twice a day - even if only 20 minutes at a time - and making better food choices.
  • Oh yeah, and myfitnesspal is my friend again - I used it all last year and didn't net a single pound!! So I started thinking, it must be me. I must be doing something wrong. Be my friend! I'm twynmawrmom, bien sur...
  • The weather started getting nicer and keeping me and the kids more active rather than stuck indoors with all the snacky snacks. 
  • Without hubby home the last two weeks during quarter end, I've not been drinking as much alcohol, and was sometimes motivated to fit in a workout at night.
So I told hubby we have reached our 'mid-term weight loss goals' in a sense, since we both have lost at least half of what we would ultimately like to see, and he said 
"you get an A!"
haha - he knows I'm a nerd like that - I love it!


So it didn't totally break my confidence this morning when my pants *split* on the inside thigh!! Hello - chub rub!! I guess these pants were still mad about the 8 miles earlier this week. Well, good riddance! I can't have you slowing me down this season, cotton capris. 

Mama's gonna need some more spandex...

Do you get lean for training season? What are your goals?


Friday, April 12, 2013

#bestrun

One of my fave blogs, MCM Mama, posted for Miss Zippy's #bestrun link-up, and it got me fired up to mention my most recent #bestrun and what it made me do.

This week I had an audition for Delaware Theatre Company and I 
a) wasn't sure about the commute
b) wasn't sure about their season
c) wasn't sure I could go without the kids

All of the above seemed to resolve themselves and/or I ended up not caring, so I went for it.

In the back of my mind, I
a) had a feeling the theatre was right on the waterfront
b) had a feeling I would be done quickly
c) had a feeling I could fit in a run right afterwards

So I prepared for the possibility, and lo and behold, it presented itself! 

Since it was only 10:45 when I got started and I didn't have to pick up the kids until 2, I was hoping the Waterfront Riverwalk was more than 2 miles long, so I could actually get my long run in for the week. Which, incidentally, needed to really count since I missed a week of running and the longest run I had done since the Philadelphia Half back in September was 5 miles for my month-long 140.6.

Well, it wasn't more than 2 miles long. 

But I did get my long run! I ran that thing back and forth until I hit 7 miles, and then I ended up a mile from my car, so I made it an even *8*! It was one of those runs that you just up and up and up the energy. People started gathering at the restaurants for lunch, and it was getting a little busy, but I just kept plowing through. I fell a little in my pace, but I felt like I could do it, and I wasn't going anywhere until I did. 

Maybe it was the adrenalin from the audition, or the fact that I really needed the boost in confidence for the upcoming Broad Street Run, but it was seriously the #bestrun I've had in forever. 

It made me feel like I was finally starting to keep up a certain level of fitness over the Winter that would allow me to train year-round.

[You know - the kind of training it would take to complete an Ironman??]

Shhh. Don't tell me I said that.  

In any case, I feel like Broad Street is just maintenance and mental game in front of me, and then it's on to my Half-Ironman training for the Diamondman on September 8th

And oh yeah, nothing like quarter-end loneliness and a #bestrun to get me to sign up for something else! 

I'll be riding 63 miles on the Tour de Cure with Joanna @ Nutrition in Motion on June 1st for the American Diabetes Association. JOIN US!!

So what if it's been two years since I've ridden more than 40 miles...

Clearly, I can do anything.





Patio Progress

Follow my blog with Bloglovin
This may be a series of photos illustrating the progress on our back patio project, OR...

It may be a series of photos illustrating my attempts to snap a pic of our construction manager.

Who can say!


[and who are you to judge]



[desperate housewife]

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Lululemon SUCKS

This post has nothing to do with the recent rear-revealing debacle. That is the least of my problems, and should be the least of theirs, as well, if they care to read on. Although, if testing fabrics is an issue, you've come to the right place.

So a while back I entered a giveaway posted on Skinny Runner's blog. In exchange for donating $5 to someone's NYC Marathon charity of choice, which was one that has caught my attention in the past: Back on My Feet, you were entered to win a $150 gift certificate to Lululemon.
For lemons, not melons
Who wouldn't want a gift certificate to Lululemon? "Athletic wear of choice for hot mamas hitting the gym during the precious preschool hour everywhere." I think that's their motto, anyways.

Well, not me. Anymore.

I donated $30 to the charity of choice, because, frankly, I really like that charity. It actually started in Philly, and it motivates homeless people to be active physically, which in turn, helps them get other things in order in their live.

So my $30 gave me 5 extra chances, and by chance, I won!

I carefully stalked my prey, and waited for the right opportunity to strike their new store at Suburban Square, which is ever so convenient to my shopping schedule (which would be in between the hour at the gym and the last 15 minutes of my time before preschool pick-up where I stuff my face with at least 400 calories.)

I got the thickest pair of running leggings they have, a sports bra [which would be the second one I've ever bought myself outside of discount stores and Costco], and a loose tank. I ended up spending a little extra (so read: that's more than $150 total) to "complete" an outfit there.

The pants were also intended for everyday use under my new Christmas boots I was fantasizing about. Oh yeah, you know the ones: the ever sexy arch-correcting Dansko's.
The pants pretty much slid off my a$$ from the beginning. I thought I just needed to give them a good run in the Winter weather. 

No, they did not like that. I was tugging them up the entire time. Um, isn't this what spandex is for??

And no, I did not wash them with fabric softener to compromise their stretch integrity, little miss checker-outer who reminded me of this caveat.
 "They're like the perfect pants as LONG as you don't wash them incorrectly!! tee hee!!"
[she literally said tee hee.]
They were like that from the first wear, and believe me, that is VERY difficult to separate special items from my regular six loads of laundry per week. 

Around where the boots zip, plenty of pilling. 

Is it me? Is it my round booty? My bulbous calves? Well, shouldn't you accomodate us curvy ladies who like to sweat, too?

The bra chafed. TWICE. And it wasn't even hot and sweaty out. And it's definitely not true to size. I get my sweethearts sized regularly, and I KNOW what my size is. Yes, I believe I was "making it work" in the store, but, then again, sports bras are normally on the tight side, no? Yes.

The tank is nothing-ness. For $50. ON SALE. But again, I just wanted to 'complete' the outfit. I imagined this would be perfect in spin class, as you get super hot and sweaty, but don't want to just strip to your sports bra. [Especially not if it's a Lululemon one.] 

So, nakedness, then. They're selling draped naked-ness. With their brand on it.

Sorry, charlie, you're outs in my book! Now when I see women in the gym wearing complete Lululemon outfits I think,  
"See ya suckers!"

[don't you wish I would tell that story so you'd know what that phrase is all about??!]

[I will, I will...]





Sunday, April 7, 2013

I know

I know...

That there will be times that they won't hug me so tight...

That they won't want me to hold them when they're scared.

That he will just give me a kiss because he 's supposed to.

That he will refuse to give me a kiss because I have cooties.

That they will fight about something so deep that they won't talk for awhile.

That we will not chat about their day and read stories together.

That I won't have to go on guard every time they start to get the sniffles.

That I won't make or prepare their breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day.

That I won't know their friends.

Or design their schedules.

Or make up silly phrases with them.

Or see them off to school.

So I...

jump when they cry...

And run to grab them.

I breathe in the smell of their sweaty heads...

And squeeze them tight.

I give them an extra helping.

Maybe another piece of candy.

I let them mess my hair.

I make sure their socks match before mine do.

I let them run naked.

Sometimes outside in the rain.

I squeeze extra bubble bath in the tub.

I take them to the park AND the zoo.


I still put their shoes on for them.

I let them jump on the couch.

I help them walk up the slide.

I snuggle them to sleep most nights.

I let them drink too much [chocolate milk.]
Cocktails all around.
I put off bedtime for dance party.

I ask them to help me bake, even as half the majority of the ingredients end up on the floor.

I teach them to love each other, even as their focus slowly turns away from me.

I let them splash, bang, yell, jump, and generally have their way.

...

There was a time when I thought, I may not have them at all.

...

So sue me.

I know.






Saturday, April 6, 2013

Dress the part

So I started this blog and I noticed a lot of other blogs with a little more professional finish...

or many more followers...

and sponsors...

professional looking photos...

other bells and whistles...

and thought: 

well that's not what I'm doing. 

I'm just having a little fun...

just want to have an adult conversation in my day...

even if it's just with myself and a computer! 

Find some co-workers to commiserate with...

But like my racing...

I no longer want to be riding the hybrid bike...

running 11 minute miles...

and swimming in my regular-ol' tankini. 

I want a TRI-SUIT. DAMMIT.

I'm doing a Half-Ironman this year for goodness' sakes. 

So....

Maybe....

I should step it up a bit with the blog...

I mean....

I'm not trying to win sponsors, just like I'm not trying to win races...

But I want people to know...

I'm no fly-by-night amateur...

[Well ... I'm not a pro, either...but it doesn't hurt to look like one!]

So I'll be making some changes around here...

Not with content, mind you, just with design...

If I can figure out this durn sh**.


Friday, April 5, 2013

"I was just porking her with my spewer"

I suppose it was inevitable that my loveable set of twyns would be no different than any other set of twins and would come to create their own language?

Or maybe most kids get a few phrases or words wrong and there's nothing you can do but giggle and wait to correct them until they're like... twenty-one?


Here are some winners from my twyns:

"Screw...screw...screw...we're screwing!" (As they turn around, each holding one end of a scarf)

"Pie-papples are so pickory!" (Pineapples are prickly)  

For him: "Jamamas." For her: "Dejamas." For the rest of us: "Pajamas."

(Hear child wail) "I was just porking her with my spewer!" (porking = poking; spewer=anything that is pickory or spews something.)

We hear about porking a lot. It's usually disturbing if taken out of context.

Spewing is an interesting creation. My husband asked where they got it from and I suspect it is a reference to the sound an electronic fictional type gun or Spider-Man's webs sound when being ejected. 

[hence, at Costco:] "Look! They have a really big spewer here!" 

and just for fun: 
"Mom-watch me run around SUPER FAST!" [whispers:] "I won't hurt myself."

And completely on their own, they discovered a whole new way to 'pillow-fight':


And how about your kiddos? Any good ones lately?? 

Happy Friday!!
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