Friday, November 8, 2013

Zombie curfew

When I drive home late at night...

Or frankly, just when it's dark...

Which has been earlier and earlier lately...

So this is more and more likely to happen...

Hubby gets nervous.

And I know why.

I get nervous, too.

It's a strange, dangerous world out beyond our beautiful suburban walls.

I drive home in cloak of night from my wanderings.

There was no point to going out - just "out" - and why!

Why would I put us at so much risk.

I press down on the gas firmly and with conviction.

I swing that car around the bend to my home.

I pull up onto my driveway, shut off the ignition, jump out of my car, slam the door and run run run to my back patio, frantically sorting through my keys and trying not to jingle them with any high-pitched noises, so as to unlock the door and slide myself inside the house while simultaneously kicking the door shut behind me and locking it tight tight tight.

I open my eyes and realize I had shut them and was holding my breath.

I try not to look around while any of this is happening.

I DARE not peer into the darkness behind my house.

Ohhhhh....why didn't I go through the garage??

But I kind of hear them.

There's like a light, low, moan.

THE ZOMBIES.

It is night.

It is black.

It is waaaaaaay past human curfew.

They are OUT.

They know not what they hunt.

They only know, that they hunt.

They are so dumb.

They are brainless.

They are without REASON.

They will bite my ears off without even THINKING ABOUT IT!!

They will nuzzle on my neck first.

ERGHgrffffffffffugh.

Why was I out alone.

Why was I coming home late.

Why was I out.side.

If I were to be found half eaten, everyone would agree: it was surely her fault.

For she was out past...

Zombie curfew.

****


I am serious.

This is a real thought running through my crazytown brain.

Any irrational fears you harbor?
What am I going to do when the kids want to start watching horror movies??


1 comment:

  1. Laughing at this. Will never get over my fear of being chased by rabid animals. Have i ever been chased by one? Nope. Have I ever even seen one? Nope.

    ReplyDelete

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