Thursday, November 7, 2013

Free floating anxiety

I submitted for an audition on Saturday and got an audition appointment.

It is for a 'straight play', not a musical.

I have done exactly one 'straight play' in my life: Beautiful Thing

This is the one for which I have an audition on Saturday.

This somehow translates to me thinking I'm positively perfect for this role!

This role that I played when I was 20 in college- a mother of a gay teenager coming out, and now that I'm age appropriate for the mother - she is listed at 35 - this somehow makes me think I'm even more perfect for the part.

There's just one little problem...

I have to convince the casting director/director of this fact.

And....I don't ever, like, ever, EVER audition for non-musicals so my monologues are either:
a) crappy
b) unrehearsed
c) old
d) all of the above.

To top it off, this part requires an accent.

An accent I somehow miraculously seemed to pull off in my college years that I haven't attempted since. 

An accent which doesn't work with any of my crappy, unrehearsed, and old monologues.

So I bought the script online.

[It was $7, and kind of nostalgic.]

As I feared, there is not really a grouping of dialogue for which I can remove the other characters and make into a monologue of sorts, so that I can play this character for these people who are hiring for this character.

So, if you like, Google 'cockney accent monologues for women', what you are mostly going to find is Eliza Doolittle, and Pygmalion, and My Fair Lady, which, by the way, are all the same. 

And....that's not very contemporary, is it?

Did I mention that there is only one Equity showcase application possible in this production?

Which means that, of the cast of 5, only one of us hired can be union.

And....I'm betting it might be reserved for the main role: the gay teenager.

But you never know, TwynMawrMom, you never know!

And whatever I choose to audition with, I should probably memorize it before Saturday, right?

Let me mention, also, this would start rehearsals December 15th, which is like, the worst time for a twin mommy who has her only children's birthday the week before Christmas.

ALSO - just one more little thing. Never really approached my husband before about the idea of me portraying a romantic relationship on stage before because, well, I was never the romantic lead in anything before!


So....broaching the subject with the hubby, "and....if I had to kiss someone on stage??? We have never talked about this before..."

"We can cross that bridge when we get to it."

He's so 'supportive'??? Does this mean you know I have no chance of winning this part, or that you think the likelihood of me getting hot and heavy on stage in the theatre with a man who isn't actually gay in real life is very slim?!

Who can say.

One more thing.

The memorizing.

I mean, I used to be really good at this back when I was say, with brain cells.

And we are less than 48 hours out at this point, so...

No, no. Nope. Don't think I'm taking this audition.

Crapping out as it were.

But...honestly? What could it hurt? Other than my pride??

And kavetching about it - this is making it worse.

I'd be good for the part.

I know I could play it well.

It would be a nice addition to my resume.


What am I doing?!

As you can tell from my "audition report" series, the last few months have been pretty dry. Not many roles right for me in the area...

What am I gonna do??? 

And I get myself into these dilemmas because I am...a nut-job.

I did manage to order some new headshots....

But....they won't be here in time. 


1 comment:

  1. Just audition!! Worst they can say is no, and if you DO get it, well, as your hubby said….cross that bridge when you come to it:)
    P.S. You are amazing, why wouldn't they want you!?!

    "The rain in Spain, falls mainly in the plain"


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