I'm ready for my half-iron training to be over.
I guess it started around March 1st, when I set my sights on kick-starting my season with logging 140.6 in a month. Not super ambitious, but just a warm up to the season. And it worked. I was fired up!
I set about prepping for my three big single-sport races in succession: Broad Street 10 miler run May 5th; Tour de Cure Bike 64.5 mile bike ride June 1st; and Steelman Open Water Swim 5k July 14th. I think having a singular focus, while keeping tabs on the other two disciplines was a pretty good method for me mentally.
Then I broke the single sport seal with a sprint tri last weekend, IronGirl reunion with my first tri buddy [you never forget your first ;)], and I felt really good about my pace and performance.
But now I'm just done. I'm just so over it. I'm just nervous and resigned, anxious and lazy, moody and twitchy. I don't want to do any more training. I don't think I've done enough training. But there's not much I can do at this point.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: I haven't actually trained that hard, but I've trained harder than I ever have in my life. I'm more well trained this year than ever before. I'm more fit than I've ever been. I'm more ready for the half-iron distance than I ever have been, but I'm certainly not as ready as the last gal who did one, and the next gal who will.
My friend's husband who is a competitive triathlete advised me yesterday:
"Don't go too hard out on the first half of the bike."I responded:
"Don't worry; I don't do anything too hard."I'm just not that good at this! I know now I could never do an Ironman. At least not in my current lifestyle. Not in my current body. Not by myself [without a coach, a club, or at least a fellow racer.] And not without some more money spent on gear, nutrition, and possibly travel. And that's ok. As I've recently read here, it's not the 'pinnacle' of our sport; it doesn't have to be my endgame for me to call myself a triathlete.
I can just be me, doing my favorite race distance, as often as I like. Maybe even getting a little faster at it year after year.
I'm not enjoying myself now. I did a 10 mile run with my friend yesterday. Thank goodness for racing friends! I hope to do another long run in the coming week, a speed run or two, and maybe a speed bike/spin class and another long bike. But five/six months was too long. I'd like to say I train year-round, but I don't. I like a few months off. This is the longest season I've had.
I'm not signing up for another race before or after the half-iron. I keep talking about a few, but I'm making myself NOT. I'd just like to take some fitness classes, do some more strength training and weight-loss focused exercises, and enjoy myself. I'd like to lose some more weight; I was doing well. I can't lose any more weight while training. It's called runger, Mr. Scale. Deal with it.
I want it to be DONE. Please let me make it through. Please let me not lose my breath during the swim. Please let me find my path. Please let me not bonk on the .4 mile transition out of the water to the bike. Please let me make it up that bridge on the bike. Please let me not slip down the bridge. Please let me start the run running. Please let me be able to run the majority of the 13.1 so I'm not the last person on the course. Please let me not stumble and fall on the gravel. Please let me be able to text my husband and please let him be able to show up with the kids so that I can actually meet them at the finish line. Please let the finish line still be up when I reach it. Please don't let it take me 8 hours. Please let there be one photo of me that doesn't look like Oprah when she ran the MCM.
I love Oprah; but I don't really think my tits and thighs look like hers in real life, do they??
Please let me get that sticker. And then please let it be over. And I will never make you do another one again, I promise, twynmawrmom. I promise.