Friday, February 1, 2013

The narrators of our lives

My Dad has taken to calling my son the "Howard Cosell of his own life" because he narrates everything he's doing for himself. And with much enthusiasm. 

It is very exciting to be a four-year-old, after all. 

My daughter, on the other hand, likes to narrate my life.

Not so exciting to be a mommy.

Here's me and my narrator yesterday morning: 

"Mommy, are you going to put on make-up today?"
"Yes."
"Ok. But you need to brush your teeth first." 
"Right."
I start to brush my teeth.
"Whoah that's a lot of foam." 
"Grgh-hergh."
"You are getting toothpaste in the sink."
"Lkgh dlkli"
"And you need to do your tongue, too?"
"Nyh-hyeh."
"And you need some water."
"ggrh-gurg."
I start to put on makeup.
"What's that."
"Foundation."
"And you put it on your CHEEKS? 
And your nose. 
And your CHIN?!?"
"Yep."
"But I don't need it."
"No. Your skin is perfect."
"But I have a scar. Like Daddy. I got it when Daddy was little." 
"What?"
"When Daddy was little he got a scar like me but mine is from the bathtub."
"Right."
"He didn't get a scar from the bathtub when he was little."
"No."
"What's that?"
"That's the powder."
"Why?"
"It sets the foundation."
"It sex. The foum-nation?"
"Mm-hmm."
"oh." 
"And now you put that on your EYES?"
"Mm-hmm. Do you want some?"
"No. I don't want make-up today. Maybe tomorrow. When I go on the Mickey Mouse boat ride I get ice-scara. Just when I'm at home and on the Mickey Mouse boat ride. But not today."
"Well when we go to Disney World the princesses might put makeup on you."

She shakes her head from side to side furiously in fear.
My narrator is suddenly silent.

"You don't want to put makeup on and get your hair done and wear your princess dress at Disney World?"

She, again, shakes her head from side to side furiously in fear.
I contemplate canceling the appointment at Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique.

"Well let's see how you feel on the first day when you see the other girls wearing their dresses."

"Maybe tomorrow."
"Yes, maybe tomorrow."
 *pause for thought*
"Mommy? Are you going to get dressed now?"
*sigh*

"YESSS, my love..."



2 comments:

  1. I love that I can totally relate to your morning! It's like you are in my house. ;) Also, let me know how the boutique goes. Debating trying it with my girl when we go back this summer.

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    Replies
    1. It was a no-go! We took her dress to the park and when we entered the castle for lunch age wanted to change, but no makeup, and nothing before that moment. Can't predict a 4-year-old!! And after seeing the girls in the park I guess it was a little too much. In the new "Castle Couture" shop you can get pixie dust on you for free, but little guy was the only taker!! Go figure!!

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