Wednesday, January 9, 2013

An Alternate Reality

"Are you saying I'm out of touch with reality?"
"Well there's no right way to answer that, is there? It's just...I come home and talk about things that are happening in the world, and you talk about things that are happening in your world." 
"It's a different reality." 
It's the kids! The darn kids! 

Yes, I am completely isolated.
YES, I am wrapped up more in their schedules than my own.
YES I focus every other bit of mental energy on diversions for myself (i.e., triathlons, quilting, part-time-gigs) rather than the daily news.

And thusly, if my kids aren't 100% well behaved, the house isn't 100% organized and cleaned, and the laundry isn't 100% done and put away, I'm kind of a failure in my reality.

But who's motivated to clean, organize, and put away when the process is going to be reversed within 12 hours?

Who wouldn't want to swim 3 miles to say they accomplished something that day?

Who wouldn't want to sew a frickin' batman applique on a panty to prove they are pleasing someone, somewhere, out there in the omniverse??

Do I get a raise if the kids have a fight-free day?

Do I get promoted if I host two holiday dinners and the house is still clean within 24 hours afterwards?

Do I get noticed even, if ???

YES I know your job sucks sometimes too.
YES I know there are bigger problems in the world.
YES I know I will be going back to an office someday.

BUT my kids will be going there too.

I will not be the same person I was 4 years ago.

I will not be able to stay until midnight.

I will not be willing to work as many weekends.

I will not be thinking about ways to make my office more efficient in my own personal time.

I will not be able to follow the rhythm of the work schedule; I will still be on the kids' schedule. Their sick days. Their school days. Their extracurricular activities. Their lives.

So just give me my time. My time, with them, now. And stay out of it.

Let me find balance. Let me create our reality that works for us.

Try to enjoy the reality you step into every evening when you come home from that other world.

An alternate reality.

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