Thursday, November 8, 2012

Everything you wanted to know about the 2000 Election but were afraid to ask me

I know it's been three terms and two presidents later, but it's taken some time to prove that my relationship with my hubby could actually survive a few elections.

And while it is still amazing and ground-breaking that we have a President with record stats both good and bad [see Ryan Seacrest's social media list and Huff Post's unemployment rate stat], this election bored the crap out of me. Sorry, Barack-y. You're cute and all, but ... where's the drama?



I LOVE drama. 
[I literally. have made. a CAREER. of it. Duh.]

Let's go back to 2000.


My hubby-then-boyfriend of 2 months and I were living in two different cities, chatting on the
telephone [remember those?], watching the election results.

For some reason, we did not discuss politics up to this point in our 5-year friendship/2 month romantic relationship.


For some reason, each of us was
certain the election was quite a lock for our candidate of choice.

For some reason, we had
no. IDEA. we were on opposite sides of the political spectrum. 


WHOAH. Brace for impact.....

and.... 




Starting at about, oh, say 10:30 PM EST,
there was crying, there was fighting...and not just with the news agencies. I found myself arguing with a man I thought I knew! There were several hang-ups and tearful pick-back-ups. There were all sorts of levels of emotional responses left on answering machine messages; there was yelling [well, there's ALWAYS yelling, so that's not new.] There were threats to get in a train/car to each other; there were threats to never see. each other. EVER. again!! We were up all night talking on the phone until 5 am. The pundits were with us the whole time. There was no conclusion. Not for Bush, not for Gore, not for me, not for hubby, not for the U.S., and not for U-S.
HIGH DRAMA 
in the early stages of a romantic relationship where the couple had already weathered five years of the soap opera that is college, post-college, joblessness, good loves, bad loves, moves and wincingly awful attempts at jobs in our dream careers [ahem, Ren faire.]

Bill Clinton,
[yes I called him Bill to his face, so I can write it here], the darling of the Democratic Party, had served his righteous 8 years in office and America was proud, happy, and fruitful. The obvious successor to the throne was his faithful and loyal Veep, Al Gore. This was Al Gore before an Inconvenient Truth; before the beard; before his Nobel Prize.

Alas, he could have used a little not-yet-invented holographic technology when attempting to kiss his then-wife Tipper, and he could have used a little ounce of the charm of his predecessor from whom he so desperately tried to disassociate himself
[coulda used a little John Edwards here, instead of 4 years later. Joe Lieberman is a whole 'nother post!] Even though our beloved Clinton had left a questionable stain on the White House [heh heh], America wasn't ready for robots. Damn.

Then there was George Bush. 



He was George Bush.... Junior

No one even liked George Bush Senior, and he was the Veep of one of the most beloved Presidents of all time: Reagan! Yes, I said it. He was beloved. He was unifying. 


He was an actor. 

DUH. We're good at playing the part, even when we are losing brain cells by the second. 

But you know, Gee-dub was a Texan. There's that. Comes with some kind of clout. 


My favorite Texans: 
That's my Uncle Bruce and Grandpa, enjoying a card game in the sky
To make a long post as long as that night in 2000, and to educate the young folk : 
  • tight tight TIGHT race
  • everyone was counting their cookies
  • it was a time of trusted News Anchors on three trusted networks and they all had it wrong [Dan Rather lost his whole marbles, career, and livelihood over it]
  • they named Bush the winner
  • Gore started to concede ... but then ... he took it back
  • there was hand-counting of ballots
  • there was Florida and the Supreme Court
  • there were idiots
  • there were VOTES lost in a VAN down by the RIVER [conspiracy much? yes, yes I do]   
It went on for two weeks...a month...

America had a new, unsatisfying answer: 
"Uh...Bush? I guess?
And then 9/11 happened and it made me kinda like that loveable idiot. [if you tell anyone I said that I will remove you from my subscriber list] [and that goes for all 5 of you.] Cuz we were all scared, and he was dumb and confident.  And Giuliani. And if you don't know who Giuliani is, he was Bloomberg before Bloomberg was Bloomberg and Bloomberg was a just a sweet little baby tycoon like this guy:
So then what?

Um...total loss of confidence in our electoral college system.


Some BBQ ribs, some sweet talkin' and I was ... in love with a Republican.



Three elections later...

Three cities later...

Two babies later...

I think that's a record.


Red and Blue and the ultimate in bipartisanship





3 comments:

  1. lol! I love a Republican too. To make our marriage work, he's not allowed to watch Fox News in my presence, and I have to dvr The Daily Show to watch it in secret. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I caught my MIL watching Fox News with the kids and she might as well have been whipping them!! I amazingly restrained myself.

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  2. This SO made me laugh. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete

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