Sunday, September 30, 2012

Twin Mommy takes Gold at Zane's Run

Sweet Baby Zane

Let's talk about twin mommies. I know all mommies are amazing, and I wasn't meant to be a twin mommy, but now that I am, I know there's something to it.

 There's this amazing lady:
She is Zane's Mommy. Also mommy to Zane's twin sister and younger brothers (also twins! [pictured left]) She started Zane's Run to spread awareness and raise funds for Spinal Muscular Atrophy research, because she lost Zane to this degenerative and terminal disease and needed to do it. She is beautiful on the inside and out, and it was great to see her in action directing the race today.

And then there's this one:

She's my twin mommy friend, and apparently, your average everyday elite-athlete-in-sheep's-clothing. She crushed the previous winner's time in the 5 miler, while. pushing. the. twins. in. the. jogger!! WTF. No--you didn't hear me. I need to add: she beat the men and women, including all of us who weren't. pushing. 70+ lbs!! Apparently she just had to do it today. She is also beautiful on the inside and out, and it was amazing to watch her loop past everyone. I couldn't find her on the first turn-around [I was quite aware I would not be able to match pace with her even with the stroller, so I didn't even attempt], so I was afraid she had to stop for one of the kids to take a potty break. Lo and behold, I spotted her on the second turn-around, leading the pack. She just so happened to completely burn that first turn around so that I wasn't going to see her at all within the first 2 miles. Hilarious. Pretty sure she smashed the previous record.

When you know the backstory of people, and you are friends with them, and you forget what amazing things people are capable of, it just.blows.your.mind. Totally emotional and inspired right now!! Both twin mommies win gold in my record book.

With all mommies who have newborns, who may express some emotions akin to:
"WTF" and
 "How am I supposed to do this!?"
 I generally say:
"It's like a marathon. You never know you can do it, until you do it. And... you're doing it."
This seems to help. This is exactly how I felt in the first year with the twins. SOOO much:
"how am I supposed to get two newborns with heart monitors and preemie feeding issues across state lines following my husband in the moving van?" 
"how am I supposed to survive the next 12 hours of daylight when I just barely survived 12 hours of nighttime feedings, diaperings, rockings, and reflux pukings!?"
"how on EARTH does any woman go to work after a night like this??" 
Mommies are amazing. They just do. 

Here's my cheering section today:

And yes, because I've never actually run a 5-miler, I totally PR'd. I was just happy to do under 9:30 minute/miles: 47:09. Pretty sure I won the DD age group. Just sayin'.

Oh and how about the MILF on the left? Oh yeah she and I were partying it up last night before she took 6th.
My friend pre-race. A gorgeous morning for kicking everyone's ass, don't you think so?

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Love me some Christmas sweaters

The new Hanna Andersson catalog is here.
The one with the matching kids and parent sweaters!!!!! 
I die. 

I only managed to do this ONCE, but you know I want to do it again. 
Ever since I completely embarrassed my husband with their 1 year Christmas photo/cards, he has taken over the design of them. He's all about appearances. Presentation. He cringes every time he sees this:
His main complaint, was that the little boy had on girl shoes. And tights. So sue me.
he liked it
Don't even get me started on their birth announcement. I was obsessed with getting the sweet little 'sleeping in the nest' photo, and yet, the kids were still in the NICU 6 weeks after they were there was no sleeping...the photographer comes to the room, little boy has a Brady [bradycardia], little girl still has a feeding anyways something to the effect of "the children look Pakistani" after I was done trying to photo-shop out her feeding tube. NOT good.

And for some reason this means I've been demoted to...coordinating our outfits??? [Don't remind him that my actual fail was the actual outfits in year 1.] Hubby has also, for the last two years, managed to design the card around the color scheme of our sweaters. He's a dynamo. A genius, you might say. [Duh, they have templates and he picks one.] 

He knows I luuuuuv Christmas cards and that if we get this one good photo of the 4 of us at least once a year, which happens to also be around their birthday, then I won't bother him for the rest of the year. So we go all out. Even though our friends are starting to get smarter and send out e-cards, I'm going to always love a good old fashioned Christmas card. The feel of the paper, the reveal of the photo or greeting, the colors...well....let's be honest:

It's probably the photos. 

I'm addicted to photos and I really love seeing everyone's kids and how much they've grown. Before Facebook I used to write actual paragraphs to people and we would catch up on each other's lives. My hand would hurt from writing so much. Now I have to hold myself back from revealing the Christmas photo on Facebook before I actually send out the things! I luvvv it. Let's hope I'll be organized enough to save one from every year and my kids might like seeing the grouping of it someday. They'll think, "what a great mom we have. She dressed us up like matching dorks every year and sent it around to the whole world."

So for year 2/Christmas 2010 we did gray: 
This is the only time I actually got them matching sweaters from Hanna Andersson. But I covet the feeling.
For year 3/Christmas 2011 we did deep red/off white: 
And now it's year 4, bitches! I'm liking the khaki/black stripe. It's called: "Cocoa weather." The kids are really into stripes these days.


Thursday, September 27, 2012


iPhoto will never be Ofoto
When the hubby and I switched to a Mac this past Christmas [thanks mom & dad] , he linked up or synced up our external hard drive with the computer, with the WD Box, with the modem or the server or refridgerator or whatever else he has sharing brain cells in this house. But the Mac does not like talking to this thing. Well, ok maybe because we have 30,000 photos on it. No, I'm not joking. And that's basically since we began, which was about the same time digital photography began? I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure at least 10,000 of those are of the children alone, and they've only been alive for, oh, say 46 months, so that's like 10,000 divided by 30 days per month times 46 months = 7.2 photos a day. That actually doesn't sound like a lot. I bet you there are 20,000 photos of them already. 

ANYWAYS, every time I open iPhoto on the Mac, it wants to load all.30.thousand. Forget it. I'll just use kodakgallery online still...which has now been purchased by Shutterfly...[and used to be called Ofoto back in the frontier days of the Internet]...and let's just say, all of this software is no longer to my liking. Just let me click and drag my photo into the spot on the album or card of my choosing and write my funny caption. Let me order prints with a click. Yes I said prints. I I actually have a photo addiction, but that's another post for another day...

So to make a long story short, I actually open up the folders of photos on my external hard drive through Finder [otherwise known as "start" to you PC users], and drag each photo I want to employ in an upcoming project onto my desktop. So my desktop looks like this: 
that's littering
I even employed this technique while using iPhoto to make a book on iPhoto. It's easier to just quickly click into 'project' or 'flagged photos' album on iPhoto than the entire photo stream or catalog. 

It gets better: Blogger
To upload photos onto my Blogger that are directly on my iPhone, as in, they were recently taken [within the last 1000 photos], or in fact, just taken that second for the purposes of blogging, it is much easier for me to go into my Blogger app on the phone, squint through the html for that particular draft that I'm hunting, and add the photo to the end of that draft, rather than try to access the same photo through the iCloud or photo stream [same thing, I know, so why do they call it something different?] I have to make sure this draft is not open on my desktop computer [which is actually a laptop, because who has desktops anymore, but I mean to say that it is not a tablet, which is the original word for an iPad, just as a MacBook is not its own entity is a.laptop.too.] Then I wait for the draft to upload onto Blogger from my iPhone, close it on the phone, and then open the same draft on my desktop. Then I have to either copy and paste the photo from the bottom of the draft to the exact spot I desire within the draft [as you can see, I'm long-winded], or try some fancy finger-ography to get it to that spot [hello again, carpel tunnel.]

To upload photos that go way back, as in, before we had children and started averaging 7.2 or 14.4 photos per day, again I go into the folders directly on my external hard drive [again] and save them to my desktop, then upload them from there onto Blogger. 

What if I want to edit said photos? 
I find editing photos easiest on the iPad. So I have to find the photo from one of the various aforementioned ways, EMAIL IT TO MYSELF, then open it on the iPad, edit it in 20 seconds flat, because it really is that easy, and then EMAIL THE NEW VERSION back to myself. Apple better be damn happy that there is gmail. No I have not bothered to try mac mail. Screw Macs. 

Why not take the newly edited photo straight from my iPad to the Blogger app on my iPad? 

It doesn't exist. The Blogger iPad App. 

So I created a shortcut to the web-version.  On the draft page, I cannot scroll down past 1 page. I guess most Bloggers are not as verbose prolific chatty annoying prolific as me.

How about the fact that now that I've made Google my homepage, and I've customized it so that its theme is various gorgeous, serene beaches throughout the world, I can no longer see the Google doodle of the day? [I realize this may seem off-topic as it is not an iProduct, but it uses "i" in front of the Google, so I feel it is appropriate to my rant.] Even if I do a Google search and it comes up in the corner of my browser, if I click on it, it takes me back to my gorgeous serene beach scene. And I've never been so frustrated to see a gorgeous serene beach when I could be clicking my Olympic long jumper across the words G-O-O-G-L-E? And I almost never know what the significance of said day is, because Google is not able to tell me. And I can' So now I have to open up a different browser on my computer, which is usually promoting some other search engine other than Google, and defile it by going straight to the Google page to play my doodle. That is, if I've somehow stumbled upon the fact that there is a doodle of the day and my children or husband have not already distracted me from my prize.

Then I see this:
"Change your mind: Switch back and forth between your iGoogle page and Google's "Classic Homepage" through the link in the upper right-hand corner"
After about 5 minutes of clicking around and hovering over various 'link'-looking-like things in the upper right-hand corner, and checking to make sure this is indeed my right hand by holding it up and miming holding a pen to confirm that this is indeed the hand that I write with, I discover that these instructions just mean for me to 'log-out' of my homepage. So I do. And I see the doodle. And then, it's over.

iN sum 
As you can see, I've had a lot of resistance to the whole Mac movement, and I have given in and actually taken a class with 15 of my fellow retirees. I'm getting there. I'm getting there. It's just...going to take me until the next software upgrade. Even when I was a recording gear head, I preferred technology that was at least 5 years old. It just...sounds rounder.

This was a print that I took a picture of with my iPhone, uploaded to Facebook a few weeks ago, then downloaded from Facebook today to add here on Blogger. AM I BLOWING YOUR MIND YET!?! Oh, and I'm using a 4-track recorder in...oh, say...2000...and I'm about to take that mix and add it to my digital 8 track Roland, before finalizing onto its Zip drive, for which I had an external drive to upload to my desktop computer, from which I could burn a CD. I know, I know. MIND BLOWN.

Now I know I'm not that old YET. But wasn't my life supposed to be simplified by all this? Can't I just wave my iPhone up in the air and say "add the cute one of my daughter from the Circus in February 2011 to the blog post titled 'Future Trapeze Artist and my life as a Momager'"?? I would be the awesomest blogger [and momager] EVER.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Craft Day: lampshade...quilt block...back to lampshade

Ohhhhhhhh it comes!!!! [drumroll please] QUILTING SEASON is upon us.  I know, I know, it's super exciting. I am a dork as well as amateur-everything-else.

I actually opened the season to divert myself from my initial failing at recovering a lampshade.

Quick & Dirty (lampshade)
  • I only looked at the pic of the tutorial and I saw 'glue gun' and then, stopped reading.
  • If you don't have a pattern for the shade from its previous cover, try strips of fabric, cuz cutting it correct is a bitch impossible
  • Think about trim ahead of time, or make sure your edges are neat
  • divert your three-year-old's attention with cleaning the lamp base with Q-tips only [hours, literally!]
  • darker/thicker/stiffer fabric will hide the glue marks & be easier to work with
Started here (see the spot? see my initial choice of fabrics?)

Ended here (worth it.)

Quick & Dirty (wonky corners block)
source tutorial
  • start with 2.5" square
  • various strips of 2-3"
  • keep one corner in tact, then add strips like a half of a log-cabin to the other two sides
  • alternate by angling in, so the tops are skinnier than their bottoms, and out
  • could not get away without cutting and ironing after each 'duo' (would make back bulky)
  • stop at your desired finished size (in my case, 15" square)
Started to get it here.
Finished product
Slow & Painful 
First Craft Day of the Season 
I had to get this lamp at my Moms' Sale for my daughter. I saw the little flaw in the shade, and shook it off. This will be easily remedied. Or I could buy a new shade. Although, that would probably remove any discount I received by getting it at a second-hand sale.

I remembered I had just pinned a tutorial on my Pinterest page, so no brainer. Fabric and glue gun at the ready.
But how to cut said fabric? Hmmmm...
Aha! Since I don't have a pattern to follow like in the tutorial, I cut strips.

Oh that first fabric was too thin and flimsy. It wouldn't hold its spot, and the glue would show right through to the other side, even though I was trying to keep the glue on the inside of the shade on the top trim and bottom trim. So it was scrapped. 

This second third fabric choice was much easier to work with. 

I cut it into quarters, and started wrapping it around the shade, and only gluing it on the inside of the shade at the top and bottom, just like I figured planned.

But the top and bottom still did look a little rough, so I'll just use some ribbon as trim to dress it up, no? But which one?

Well...I chose the pink stripe, because I thought I could turn it under and the stripes would help me space without measuring [lazy.]
It looked...awful!! So ruffly and wavy, and not straight at all. I started to pull it off. 

But I had only glued it on one side yet--the inside of the shade--so it actually refused to be removed and just hung like a little bedskirt. Kinda cute! So it stays. 

My daughter's room, and new hobby: cleaning her princesses with water & a Q-tip. Smart girl!

Photo break. Breathe in, and out. Survey to-do pile. Begin again.


LISTEN! you should really get to know this new hobby of quilting. Modern quilting is art. And gorge.ous. And you usually only have to sew straight lines to start.

It's actually just an excuse for me to add to my fabric stash. I could just tape fabric all over the walls and I would live happy. But alas, I'm not in college anymore.

My package for this month
So I'm in a long-distance quilting bee, which I find absolutely hilarious and kind of amazing at the same time. I send out fabric to the other members when it's 'my' month, and they make me a block of my choosing. Then they do it to me. Most of us have never met in person. This month's block: "Wonky Corners."

So after the second set of strips and second corn muffin, I'm starting to understand it. Keep one corner straight and in tact, and just build from there. Make the tops of the strips wide at their 'top', and then the next set skinny up 'top', and so on and so on.

Honestly I understand quilters usually have a reason for this sort of thing but am I really supposed to iron, cut, and sew each time and repeat? I love to do all cuts, all ironing, and all sewing assembly line style. This is what's hard about quilting for other people.  

At first I was trying to just sew on the next two or three rows of strips at an angle, without cutting the excess in the back or ironing. Then I realize this is going to make it too bulky, and I'm sending this back to a beginner quilter so I don't need to handicap her! But if it were for me, I probably would've kept 'em. Makes quilts warmer. 

So I take out the shears and start free-handing the trimming in the back [gasp!]
Gaze at gorgeous fabrics.
Keep on sewing til I get to the right size. And...done.


This craft day brought to you by a morning of preschool and an afternoon of THIS...


Monday, September 24, 2012

A meditation

I feel very strong, even though, my elbows hit the sides of my muffin top.

I want to play with my kids, even though, I want some time away from my kids. 
My legs are restless, even though, they ache.

My workout clothes feel awesome, even though, my skinny jeans don't.

I'm confident I could finish any race, even though, I weigh more than I ever have.

I'm itching to work out, even though, I'm tired.

My body weighs too much, but my body does so much.

I could swim forever, even though, I want to burn this swim suit.

I want a challenging run, even though, I've had a challenging day.

I want to do so much, even though, I have to do so much.

I can do it all, even though, I have to start real small. 

I am strong, even though, I'm strong enough to admit when I'm not. 

Sunday, September 23, 2012

sUn-edited: girl friendships

I'm going to start practicing what I preach, at least on Sundays. "sUn-edited", I'll call it, and I'll post an old draft that, for one reason or another, I have not published yet 
[and I'll try, really really hard, not to touch it, I swear! Ok like mostly.]

Here's the first one: 

Things I want to teach my daughter about girl friendships

Girls can be mean.

There's no one like family.

You will have many friendships over your lifetime, not just one. 

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will stick with you for life. But they won't break your bones.

Smile and say "ok" as soon as you can.

Smile and say "no way" as soon as you need to.  

Girls are natural nurturers. 
You can talk and talk and talk and a girl will listen.

Girls and boys can't really be best friends for life; sooner or later someone is going to want to have sex.  Unless said friends are married to other people, in which case one hopes one or both of them will have the decency not to act on the desire to have sex with one another. But in college go ahead and be best friends with them; this may work out down the line. 

Gay boyfriends are not girls.

A real friend will support your decision to do something that she's not. 

What you give, you will not always get in return.

But if you don't give anything, you won't get anything.

Like cable cars, girls will come back around. 

Girls are hard. Watch Mean Girls. Over and over.

Then call me. Let's go shopping. 

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Stop editing yourself

As you may have noticed, I have enjoyed starting this blog. It's been a great place for me to work out my thoughts and create. I needed to be heard. Thanks for that.

But as I was going through my posts, I noticed...I've got 37 of 60 unpublished drafts. I have the app on my phone so as soon as a thought pops in my head, I jot it down. But even for my unfocused mind, that seems like a lot. That's more drafts, than published material [thank you, math genius.]

What if we stop. editing. ourselves? What is so wrong with those drafts? Not cool enough? Too personal?  Lacking focus? Trying too hard? 

There are so many things we are meaning, behind what we are saying or doing. 
There is a way to "re-edit" our true meaning down to it's basest feeling, and freeing ourselves from the binds of what we first call it. 

For example:
"I want to do an Ironman."
"I want to challenge myself with something big"
"I want to be a part of something that is bigger than myself" 
 or just
"I want to be a part of something."
Well, there are a LOT of those things. Those things that are bigger than myself. Raising my kids, church, an arts organization, a charity drive...what I really want, is to belong. To have a community. To have a role. To have a purpose. These are certainly all things I have struggled with since I became a stay-at-home-mom. It's a mind f**k. I don't have to do an Ironman to prove I have a place in this world, or that I'm 'winning' at something. I succeed in producing happy children, in managing the banalities of our daily life, in placing a stamp on the envelope and getting it to the mailbox on time, in remembering the names of our new preschool teachers [which, for the life of me, I don't know, of course.] Ironman, or Domestic Goddess? Same endurance level, less bling. Let's face it, all of us endure 17 hour days that feel like we swam a river, biked 112 miles, and ran a marathon, all in one day. Do I need the title? Maybe I need the title. Would I want to complete the race if I couldn't brag about it? 

Another example: 
"I want to perform."
 "I want attention from people."
"I want to create something beautiful."
"brings about change/emotion in someone."
"I want to affect someone." 
"I want to connect with someone."
"I want someone/people."
I told my husband when we left NYC, that he had to give me the equivalent of the attention of 500 audience members that I would be missing. He agreed. I think he has. I now see performing as a way to date my creative self, and she meets me in many different activities these days. I don't have to get on stage to see her. And I don't need to marry her, either.

In those beginning days of my relationship with my husband I used to try and employ this reduction technique often. I'm sure I did not invent this; in fact my mother is in the therapeutic arts so I'm quite certain she conditioned me in this way of thinking [thanks mom.] The Hubby found it... quite annoying. I was always trying to get at the heart of what he wanted. 
"I want you to stop hanging out with that person," he'd say.
"I want you to stop hanging out" 
"I want you to just be with me."
MEOW. Let's talk about THAT instead of my stupid alcoholic clubbing friend.
Did this get you thinking? Are you onto that nagging feeling now? Look at what you're doing. Are you doing it, because you really want something else? Of course, we all want to make money...that's easy...that's we 'work'...but even at work, why are you really calling that meeting? Why are you really coming in late? Why are you avoiding that person/topic/project? Why do you want them to admit they're wrong? Why you do want to be right? Why do you...?

Stop making it a pre-packaged label. 
"I'm an attachment parent."
"I'm PMS-ing."
"I'm not a creative person."
"I'm too busy."
You really mean to say something else. 

What is your actual desire? 

Stop editing it.  

[At the very least, to yourself.]

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Coffee update...I mean...just... update

[need more coffee]
[and more sleep]
[I don't quite understand how I've come to be lacking in both, 
and how both will put me back to normal]
[but they will]

So I've had a few requests about town for updates on some of my other ramblings...namely, the spending fast, and the most recent audition.

Quick & Dirty
  • fail
  • fail
There's not going to be much of a 'slow and painful' version of these stories, because my back is still aching from the half-marathon and my coffee hasn't been delivered yet.

My husband and I had an unspoken agreement that there would be a 'one day suspension' of the September spending fast for the Moms' sale. The bargains are really outrageous, and I usually get some good Christmas finds, so it's technically not for September that I am making these purchases. That said, I was going to only buy if necessary. 

Could not resist this bad boy. Better snow this winter!
Spent $56. Definitely made more than that with my offerings. 

Oh, and within this same 24 hours I attended the race expo, and bought a visor for $20. I lost one on the Disney cruise, so this was totally necessary.

Once that seal was broken, and the 'weekend of crazy' was over, during which my mother-in-law and I managed to go through all the coffee in the house, having wrestled twins amongst Moms' Sale prep, unload, work and re-load, and oh yeah, a half-marathon, I decided to go ahead and purchase the coffee online. I don't know what I was thinking not ordering it before now. Spent $35.

Will try to resume non-spending, and see how the rest of the month goes.


I got to the audition space and I was first. There was someone who was supposed to be there before me but she was not there yet, so I went first. This is great if I am singing an audition, and my magnanimous voice can resonate within their heads for the rest of the day, not so great if I'm reading lines at an audition. Took too long to get into the scene, and came off fake-y. So far, no call, no surprise. It is a shame; this is the third time I'm auditioning for this company so I may send a little email to the casting director to see if there is something I can improve upon. And maybe mention that I have an amazing rack range.

Having a hard time recovering from the race. Will get back to you soon as that coffee comes.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Number hungry: Philly Rock n Roll Half Marathon Race Breakdown

[my report; NOT a review]
Quick & Dirty
  • just barely made it under my 'max' goal time
  • am getting hungrier for better numbers [but not more training of course :b]
  • underestimated the tremendous value of running a race with a friend
  • had forgotten what's it like to be 'thankful to finish', and I am.
  • as always, could use more training:
Here was my phat 5-week training plan from my previous post:

Philly Rock n Roll Half in 5 weeks
Week of Short Run Cross - Train Short Run Cross - Train  Long Run
Aug 12 [tri race this week] [tri race this week] 3 miles [tri race this week] 7 miles
Aug 19 3 - 4 miles swim 500m 5 miles spin class? 8 - 9
Aug 26 3 - 4 miles still deciding 4-5 miles short bike (8 miles) 10 miles
Sept 2 3 - 4 miles swim 500m 4-5 miles does shopping count?10 -12 miles
Sept 9 3 - 4 miles swim 500m 3 miles [not this week] RACE

Here's what I actually did:

Philly Rock n Roll Half in 5 weeks
Week of Short Run Cross - Train Short Run Cross - Train  Long Run
Aug 12 [tri race this week] [tri race this week] 3 miles [tri race this week] 7 miles
Aug 19 3 - 4 miles swim 500m 5 miles spin class? 8 - 9
Aug 26 3 - 4 miles still deciding
Swim 1000m
3.5 miles
short bike (8 miles)
walk with kids
10 miles
Sept 2 3 - 4 miles swim 500m 4-5
3.1 miles
does shopping count?
gardening [demo/weeding]
10 -12
7 miles
Sept 9 3 - 4 miles swim 500
1000 m
2 miles [not this week] RACE

[see what an unfocused slacker I am in even a 5 week schedule]

Slow & Painful Breakdown 
I usually can't sleep before a race, but of course this time my husband also wanted me to stay up a little later to help him with a work project. I'm singing the vocal track for the back of a little short video he's making. Apparently this couldn't wait. So it cost me a few snooze buttons in the morning but I actually still made it early to the race. [6:30 am for an 8 am start time, and technically my corral started around 8:30.] Of course I'm a bumbling, fumbling, emotional mess trying to get out of the door of the house. Looking for a big hug from the hubby, spilling both my hot coffee and iced coffee in the kitchen, on the way out the door, and each in the car. Yes, I need both. Forget keys. Back inside. Forget deoderant. Back inside and up the stairs because I can't find it in my gym bag by the door. Unload some stuff in the car leftover from the Moms' Sale yesterday, because apparently someone in Center City is going to steal a Disney Princess lamp... Finally getting on the road, alternating between singing loudly to some pumped up music and crying. Emotional mess. Feeling mad at myself for not being prepared time wise, parking wise, and fitness wise.  Find free parking and all is good with the world.

Except for that phantom knee pain.

And the phantom blisters.

And the fact that I weighed myself in the morning and I weigh more. than. I. EVER. have. outside of pregnancy.

Most ever. If this is muscle that I have put on through training, I should have gone into shot put in my teens. Seriously.

Found twin mommy friend, she chats me up and soothes a lot of pre-race jitters. But not all.
We discuss her shoes for a few hours, and then the race starts.

Was suffering through mile 1 and 2 as usual. I thought I was supposed to help fellow twin mommy pick up her pace, and now the opposite is true. So I start telling her to pull away when she needs to.

Told myself to get thru the city to mile 5 and then I could take a walk break. My partner had a great strategy of quick walks at water/ Gatorade stations to which I had no problem agreeing. Even though I wanted more walking bits I knew I was running slow so I had no position to argue.

Mile 7 I started cursing my prep, started to cramp, and was trying to make it to Gu station that I knew was coming up around mile 9. I was also cursing my GPS app; it probably steered me wrong in my training. I'm going over training routes in my mind and if I hadn't driven them out or Google mapped them to confirm distances:  Doubt. Also cursing the lady-voice announcing miles on my GPS app because it got thrown off from the very beginning of the race amongst the city buildings and was announcing the wrong mileage in 1-mile intervals. I tried to put my phone on vibrate but the app overrides that. My potty mouth came out in general. For some reason in the middle of most of my long runs and workouts, I have taken to calling myself dirty, dirty names. Don't ask me why.

I took my own second Gu early and swear I could feel it working before Mile 9.

We kept talking about the fact that after mile 10, which was the longest I had previously run, was a 5k to the end. This was exciting to me. I could not wait for mile 10. But I hyped it up too much. This is where I started to fall apart. I kept dropping back and finally just started walking, so I lost my partner. I walked about a quarter mile somewhere after the mile 10 marker.

It occurred to me as I passed one of the last bands before the finish that I did not get inspired by any of the music at the "Rock n Roll" Marathon. Maybe two bands had a good groove going. But I guess I'm not your average listener. So I broke out the headphones, turned on the music and started texting! WTF. I know. But I am used to messing with my GPS app during runs, so it really wasn't hard and I needed a little extra encouragement. There was a fabulous option to have friends/family members notified via text of your progress throughout the race, so I knew they were anxiously awaiting my updates and had their phones pressed to their hearts in anticipation [this seemed a valid thought in my sweat-soaked brain]. So I texted my brother and hubby to get some extra oomph. That, combined with Justin Bieber, helped me finish. I really like that new As long as you lah-lah-lah-love me song.

I started to get emotional again. This is when my crazy cheerleader comes out. She is like, a hormonal teenage cheerleader who is drunk and on crack at the same time. Growly "owwws!' come out of my mouth mixed with breathy song lyrics and collective "we can do this!" yells, expecting my fellow racers to join in. No one does. I act like that person that was just yelling was not me. Live my own internal pop concert/football game. I often become this cheerleader in the run portion of my tri's, and for some reason, a lot of people join in. I think being in front of each other in bathing/tri suits takes away a lot of the self conciousness right off the bat.

As soon as I pass mile 12 I know I'm going to make it and I just want to get under 2:20. Trying to pick up my knees but as is often the case for me approaching the finish line, I just can't. Just maintain pace and make it in 2:18:24. I'll take it!

And my twin mommy friend PR'd! So I don't think I slowed her down too much.
Nothing like chafed arms to remind you that you are a fattie Athena! I don't know whether to blame it on my big arms or the fact that I relied on my arms more than usual [typically I'm giving them a break after swimming & biking], or the fact that I couldn't find my preferred deodorant before the race and the one I used is particularly alcohol-y.

Same emotional mess in car on way home- mix of singing loudly with the windows open and half crying.

I have to say I prefer tri's. Something about the change of gear - literally and mentally - really suits me. [Duh. I have A.D.D.] You people and your silly one discipline races. I really felt it was harder on the body.

Speaking of...that secret I told you, that I weighed more this morning than I ever have, outside of pregnancy... It's very frustrating and I know if I'm going to do longer races I need to slim up. It's just that, when I do focus on losing weight, it requires all my focus and I can barely muster up the energy for 2 workouts/week. And the kids and my stomach get "Coffee Mama", and she is not always predictably lovely.

Sexy cold bath with ice cubes [reccomended by my twin mommy coach], makes me realize part of the reason I love Steelman so much...they have an ice cold shower tent set up... that thing is better than sex.

Can't really nap the rest of the day. Like 30 minutes. Too antsy and restless. I'm always like this. Too wired up. This is one of the reasons I envision longer races for myself. I don't stop, even when my body wants to. [oops]

Oh, and for the record, that's five races in the last four years (since we've had kids) after which Daddy has taken a nap, and not Mommy. Even when he doesn't spectate! I'm glad he's keeping up his record. 
Congrats! You read this whole post! Phew. That was almost as long as the race.

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