Friday, August 10, 2012

A mature family

The onboard spa manicure is chipping away from doing dishes again, the six loads of laundry are washed and put away, the souvenirs are stashed in the kids' bins, and the photos are up on shutterfly....vacay's over.

Having twins I didn't really get a chance to stop and think about family planning and spacing children/births, etc....we always planned on having two beautiful children and we got. two. beautiful. children.

You are so in the trenches in those first two years that you don't even really think about the future, or the past, or even the present! You just pay for your embryo storage and promise yourself to think about it later and oh yeah, maybe discuss it with your partner.

But something transformed me in this most recent family trip together...I looked around at the other happy families and my own, and realized how young we are comparatively, and that there was more fun to be had. I always thought most mommies were right to inform me to 'enjoy it now', just like I find myself saying to moms of little babies when I get the chance. It seems silly to be a mom of three-year-olds and be telling a new mom to 'enjoy this precious time.' But that is how I feel--and how I always felt--that the baby time was going by too fast and I needed a pause button. Desperately.

I would often look around at my fellow mommies in the trenches and think, well...I'm in the mommy business now, so, I should want a promotion, right? A promotion would include more responsibility, a renewal on my another baby, right? A baby. A beautiful baby sister or brother for my twins. I never had a sister--wouldn't my daughter want one? Or maybe two boys would be a lot of fun! I'm getting pretty good at this mommy thing and I should definitely take my work to the next level. As soon as you start thinking this way, everyone around you is automatically in this position. You have twins, you see twins. You think about having a third baby, you see third children all over the place.

But this trip...this almost perfect family bonding time...surrounded by families...of all different ages and sizes...some with many more children than our own...gave me so much to look forward to. I started thinking about how much I enjoy my adult time with my parents, and how I want to instill that feeling in my children. Hubby can do the financial planning that allows us to provide for them over the course of their childhood; I started thinking about our long-term *emotional* planning. And it felt really, really good to think that way.

Happiness where you are. Happiness with what you have.

Isn't that what a vacation is supposed to give you?

[ re-read this post in a few months on their fourth birthday!]

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